Smile of the Father
by UltraM2000
Summary: (OMAKE ADDED FOR FATHER'S DAY) Hakkai is about to find out the truth about the past, six years ago when Kanan died...or didn't she?
1. Part 1: Arrest In Melancholiness

Hakkai fans (as opposed to, say, […x]Hakkai[x…] fans ;)), rejoice! This fic is unadulterated Saiyuki/Hakkai fluff! It's based wholly on the anime, since I have had no experience with the _manga_. I hope you enjoy it, and please do R and R! I would greatly appreciate it! ^_^  
  
Until Hakkai has grey hair, Goku stops eating and the REAL Pigsy Wu-Neng looks like this delicious biseinen…Gensoumaden Saiyuki is not mine in any way. Kanan's line about the three kids is from Roald Dahl's 'Danny" The Champion of the World'. I only own a Saiyuki fanbook that is falling apart after only a month—but I would love to invite Hakkai over for tea and instant noodles. ~__^  
  
And just to clarify: "speech", _thoughts_ and the all-important _flashbacks_.

**_Smile of the Father  
By UltraM2000_**

**PART ONE  
ARREST IN MELANCHOLINESS  
**_Ushinawareta Warai_

For some reason on the day it all started, the Sanzo-ikkou was unusually tardy in resuming their journey to the west in the morning. Although Cho Hakkai had, as was his habit, gotten up and cooked breakfast for the other three in the group, he was unusually silent.  
  
Not that anyone noticed, since Son Goku and Sha Gojyo were engaged in yet another round of their usual breakfast banter.  
  
"Kono ero kappa! That was the last gyoza! It's mine!"  
  
"No way, bakazaru, I don't see your name on it," grinned the crimson-haired, crimson-eyed human-youkai hybrid, swallowing the last of the fried dumpling. Brown-haired, gold-eyed Son Goku fumed visibly.  
  
"But I'm a growing boy!"  
  
"After 518 years?! Your brain must not have caught on to the fact."  
  
"Give it back! Aha!"  
  
"HEY! My meat dumpling!"  
  
"Didn't see your name on it. Bleeeah!"  
  
"Why you little…!"  
  
Hakkai, who had been calmly nursing a cup of coffee all this while, suddenly slammed it down on the table. A little brown drop or two flew into the air to land on the monk Genjo Sanzo's newspaper.  
  
"Gojyo, Goku, please! We're late as it is! If you two would just please stop fighting this one time, maybe we might make some progress!" the emerald-eyed demon-convert snapped abruptly and left the table and the room. Sanzo didn't look up from his papers, but he regarded Hakkai's actions with veiled, violet eye.

Wasn't like Hakkai to be grumpy. That was Sanzo's department.  
  
Goku instinctively cringed at the expression on Hakkai's face. Usually, said face was adorned with a sunny smile that brought out a glow in the jade eyes. Even the monocle that hid the wounds over his right eye had a jaunty little angle to it. Neither glow nor jaunty angle were present today, and neither was the smile that, in all of Goku's memory, had rarely left his friend's face for long. Gojyo was a little taken aback himself, and muttered 'Oh, have the damn nikuman' before leaving the table.  
  
Hakkai was leaning on the wall outside the dining room, one hand spread across the upper half of his face*. He really didn't have his usual calm, resigned expression; rather, he looked deadly exasperated. Gojyo strode up to him and placed one hand on his shoulder in a comradely fashion.

"Hey, sorry, buddy, but I thought you'd be used to the breakfast symphony by now."

Silence. Hakkai regarded Gojyo out of the corner of his eye.

"You all right? I know the monk isn't a morning person…or any-other-type-of-day person…but for you to snap at the monkey…"

"I'm fine, Gojyo," said Hakkai shortly in way of reply, "Really, I am. I just need you all to leave me alone for a while."

"Hmm. Suit yourself." Gojyo gave him a pat or two on the shoulder and went back in.

"Ke'…no good. Can't get the reason out of him," grumbled Gojyo, plonking his (often-kicked) butt onto his chair and wrapping one leg several times round the other.

"Maybe Hakuryuu knows," suggested Goku, looking at Hakkai's little white dragon. Hakuryuu was a very special little beast, as it had the ability to transform into a rugged green jeep, their prime mode of transportation to the West. The dragon now squeaked his trademark 'kyuu-kyuu'—it sounded a little sad, he DID know why his master was off character—and fluttered to the calendar. He tore off yesterday's date and revealed a new one.

Gojyo's expression did a wonderful about face. Understanding had dawned. "Oh. That's today? Has it really been that long since…?"

Sanzo looked up from his newspaper long enough to swish off his reading glasses, squint at the date and swish them back on again. "He's probably just pissed with you lot," he grumbled. "I know I am. We're leaving in 10 minutes. No dawdling," he continued briskly and left the table.

Goku snorted softly under his breath and looked at the mug Hakkai had been nursing. "I've never seen Hakkai drink coffee before. Hey, Gojyo, what's going on?"

Surprisingly, Gojyo answered the question seriously. "Today was the day that lady died," he replied, lighting a cigarette and blowing a smoke ring into the air.  
"Lady?"  
Gojyo turned and said only one word. "Kanan."  
  
--------------------

_"Kanan! Ka-NAN!!!"_

_ Cho Gonou ran down the labyrinthine corridors of the Hundred-Eyed Demon's dungeon. Corpses littered his way, broken and shattered by the longsword the man had sunk into every 999 of their festering bodies. It was then he happened upon the cell holding her prisoner—the pretty young lady in a yellow dress, hair in a braid, cross round her neck._

_ "Kanan!"_

_ "Gonou?_…_Gonou! Gonou!" she called out to him._

_ Kanan's love ran towards her cell, dropping to his knees, clutching the bars and willing them to part before him. Tears of relief stung his eyes, threatening to overflow. "Thank goodness you're still alive. Forgive me for making you go through this. Let's go home, Kanan. I will protect you from now on…!"_

_ Her utterances seemed reluctant, forced. "I can't, Gonou. It's too late for me." Her fingers touched his side so gently Gonou hated himself. It was much too late when he realised she had unsheathed from his knife—the sharp, sharp knife he had tucked into his belt._

_ "…Kanan, what…?"_

_ "In my stomach_…_is the child of that monster," she admitted sadly as she stood up._

_ So, they had taken her from him in more ways then one._

_ _Somebody kill me,_ Gonou thought weakly, his mind numbed by the words she had just spoken. Kanan had the knife to her throat now, and although she was smiling at him, the smile was sad and the tears that flowed down her cheeks like the bitter rain outside showed she was far from happy._

_ "And so…goodbye, Gonou," Kanan said cheerfully, as if her actions would not separate the lovers for eternity, and drew the blade across her throat._

_ Gonou's vision blurred red with tears and blood. So much blood. His ears were deaf to his tortured screams._

_ "KANAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!"_

_ _Somebody PLEASE kill me…!__

_ "Isn't that good? Hasn't her pain ended?"_

_ Gonou turned slowly to see a skinny young demon clad in fine robes looking at him. Slanted eyes narrowed to mere slits and long silver blue hair filled his field of sight. Gonou did not know him then, but Hakkai knew him now; Chin Isou, the son of the Hundred-Eyed Demon, whose men and whose soul he had just slashed to ribbons._

_ "Oh my, such a scary face," Isou purred. "You seem like…"_

_ A choked gasp of pain escaped Gonou's lips as Isou slashed his abdomen open, left to right at a slight angle, and slammed him up against the wall._

_ "…you can't hold back the will to kill me! But isn't it amazing? You killed all the men in this castle all by yourself. I don't think that's a human's work. Yes, yes, I heard a good legend once…a human bathed in the blood of a 1000 demons can become a demon…wonderful isn't it?"_

_ "Why you…!!!" Gonou snarled._

_ Isou didn't realize that a drop, just a drop of his own blood from a knuckle that had scraped against the wall, was falling into Gonou's wound and mixing with his own. Gonou didn't realize it was the blood of the thousandth demon until he felt the rage begin to pulse in him and a flash of green cross his vision. Before he knew what he was doing, he flung Isou aside, raised an arm and tore through the demon's chest in one swift, smooth movement._

_ It didn't take long for Isou's bluster to melt and die. "You…*gurgle* you really became a demon…?!" he spluttered, mouth filling with black blood._

_ The answer came as Gonou withdrew his arm and slammed it straight back into his target's gut. The scream that rang out even overcame the thunderous rain outside._

_ Chin Isou fell, with what looked like small white tiles clattering from his sleeves and splashing into the ever-growing puddle of viscera and blood. Slowly, Gonou's bloodlust ebbed and died. He looked around and at his bloodied hands, stunned at what had just happened._

_ _Saints above…what have I done? WHAT HAVE I DONE?!__

_Even as he thought this, Gonou's malachite eyes looked wildly round the area. In no way did he want to remain a demon, to remain as one of those who savaged his Kanan._

_ Hello, what was that demon clutching in his hand?_

_ Almost mechanically, Gonou pried the stiff, cold digits apart to reveal three little tiny metal clips. Youryoku limiters? Couldn't be anything else. They would do. They had to! He slipped them onto his own left ear, and much to his relief, the claws shrank away, the discoloration of the complexion faded, and the adrenaline coursing through his system dipped._

_ That was the last time he was taking favors from a demon! He ran as fast as he could from the scene of carnage, but the ever-increasing pain in his abdomen, his blurring vision and the faint feeling of blood coursing down his clothes into places where there should never be blood told him there was no use in the struggle. Gonou stumbled and fell, and knew no more..._

--------------------

_And then Gojyo saved my life, and I took and continue to take favours from demons, and then I met Sanzo and Goku and my name changed to Cho Hakkai and we are all here as one jumbled up quartet today…__  
  
_ Hakkai sighed softly, lowering himself onto the bed and clasping his head in his hands. He had promised Kanan he wasn't touching cigarettes—didn't see their appeal—but was now wondering if one of Gojyo's two-toned sticks would calm his nerves a little. It had been five years to the day since that awful night when Kanan took her own life, and a part of his own with him. The _youryoku_ (demon strength) limiters on his ear seemed to shine extra-brightly in the mirror, as if smiling at his sins.

___Sometimes I wish that Gojyo had NOT saved me. My life is the only price I can give to atone for her death...___ He closed his eyes again and thought of what Kanan had said to him a few days before the happening, the last time they had come together.

"We'll have lots of children, Gonou, at least three. A son for you, a daughter for me, and another one to even things up."

"Your math was never very good," he had chuckled. Kanan had responded with her own silvery laugh.

"True, teacher. I can't even count how many kisses I have left to give you," she had further added, subtracting one from the total by placing it on the nape of his neck.

_I wonder what would have happened had she not died. She was with child. One who would be about six now…_**

Just then, the bedroom door swung open. Sanzo's indifferent expression and dull amethyst eyes seemed to bore into his own. He looked like he wanted an explanation.

Much to Hakkai's relief, he asked no questions, and in his usual straightforward, curt way he said just two sentences.

"What are you waiting for? I'm not letting either of those two idiots in the driver's seat." 

-------------------- 

* Think of that scene in the credits during 'Alone'.  
** If they're still going West, then it will be about six years on June 13th. That's when Tragic Revenge (Warau Shinigami) aired.

**Japanese notes**

Anime = Short for animation. Pronounced ah-nee-may.  
Manga = Comic  
Bakazaru = Idiot monkey.  
Biseinen = An older bishounen. Bishounen = pretty boy, biseinen = pretty youth/pretty man ;P  
Erokappa = Horny (erotic) kappa. A kappa, if you didn't know, is a Japanese demon that looks like a frog on two legs with a duck's head, balancing a saucer on its head. Hence, Gojyo is a horny water demon.   
Hyakugan Maou = Hundred-Eyed Demon  
Ikkou = (Sanzo's) party. 'One going'.  
Nikuman = Meat dumpling. What we Chinese call…CHAR SIEW PAU!!! A steamed bun containing, what else, barbecued pork.  
Youkai = Demon


	2. Part 2: If That Is Truth

Hakkai fans (as opposed to, say, […x]Hakkai[x…] fans ;)), rejoice! This fic is unadulterated Saiyuki/Hakkai fluff! It's based wholly on the anime, since I have had no experience with the _manga_. I hope you enjoy it, and please do R and R! I would greatly appreciate it! ^_^  
**YunCyn**—Thank you for reviewing! I like that line of Sanzo's too, and don't worry-- Hakkai's situation will soon start looking up. Give it a chapter or two *cackle* Ow! Who threw that white dragon plushie?!  
**real-circus**—Thank you for reviewing too! As you can see, I'm rollin', I'm rollin'!_  
_Until Sanzo stops smoking, Gojyo gets married and Gyuumaou is chipped beef…Gensoumaden Saiyuki is not mine in any way. I only own a Saiyuki fanbook that is falling apart after only a month—Oo, and Meiryuu and Old Han are mine too!****

**_Smile of the Father  
By UltraM2000 _**

**PART TWO  
IF THAT IS TRUTH:  
**_Marashaito No Juuji  
_

The ikkou had been driving across the land in Hakuryuu for almost the whole day now, and they had gone without lunch as well because, of all people, it was Hakkai that had wanted to make up time. Goku's stomach was growling a Beethoven concert in protest. 

"Naaaaaaa Sannnnzooooooooooo…haaaara hettaaaaaa…" Goku whined hungrily. 

"Shut up you noisy little idiot!" snarled Sanzo, whipping out his trademark harisen and swatting Goku over the head with it. Goku whined some more in pain and received more blows for it. 

Gojyo took a last drag out of his cigarette and reached for another, only to find there wasn't another. "Crap. I'm out of cigs."

Sanzo almost couldn't hide a superior smile as he dug into his robes for his own…and his fingers closed around a completely empty box of Marlboros. "S—t. So am I." 

"There's a town nearby," said Hakkai without turning from the road. He still wasn't smiling. "We could stop there for the night."

"Let's!" chirped Goku. Towns, to him, meant food, and food he certainly wanted. Then his face fell a little and he inched closer to Hakkai.

"Naa, Hakkai, are you all right? You still sound so…angry."

_Angry at myself, Goku. Not you. And I want to be left alone._ 

  
"I'm all right, Goku, no worries," Hakkai said quietly and firmly, as if more to convince himself than Goku. The youth pouted and turned away, looking crushed. 

_He's keeping something secret. He knows I hate secrets! I sure hope Hakkai doesn't stay like this forever. He's the only one who treats me nice in this bunch._

_They arrived at the town within fifteen minutes; it was a small, quiet hamlet, almost a village. It had to do; the next town was a whole five hours drive away, and Goku's persistent toilet pleas, food pleas, and 'get-me-away-from-the-ero-kappa-please' pleas were wearing Sanzo (and Hakkai)'s nerves short.  
  
The residents had never seen such a strange group before—one brown-haired youth, a monocle-wearing brunette, some blonde in monk's robes and a crimson-haired, crimson-eyed man.

Emphasis on crimson-haired and crimson-eyed. Those were the signs of a child born of union between demon and human, the taboo offspring.

"Kinki no ko!" someone yelled, and the crowd began to buzz. Tensions rose sharply, for the sentiment towards demons had grown increasingly negative since the events that had sparked off the quartet's travels.

"My, my, what a wonderful welcome. Looks like I'll have some exercise today," mumbled Gojyo, and reached for his bladed shakujou stealthily. That is, until Sanzo got out of Hakuryuu.

"Don't be so juvenile," the monk snapped, "he's just an ordinary idiot like the rest of you." The chakra on Sanzo's forehead, his robes and the sutras across his shoulders were a dead tip-off to his identity.

"Ge…Genjou Sanzou-houshi da!" exclaimed the crowd, and almost as one, they fell on their knees and began kowtowing in relief to the ever-so-holy Master Genjo Sanzo. Sanzo gritted his teeth in exasperation, a rather large vein beginning to throb on his forehead. Goku started giggling madly, and despite himself, Gojyo burst out guffawing madly. This resulted in several strikes from the harisen for both of them.

"Rise, you fools," Sanzo said crisply, shoving the harisen into his robes. "My servants…"

"Whaaaaat?! Sanzo, we're not your servants!!!"

Without missing a beat, Sanzo again bestowed the harisen's wrath upon Goku's head. "As I was saying… my servants and I are looking for provisions and a place to sleep. Anyone able to help?"

"Old Han needs some farm work done doesn't he?" someone else in the crowd interjected and the others nodded and murmured in agreement. 

"What of it?" asked Sanzo.

"Sanzo-sama, the policy in our village is no work, no food. Old Han is our village chief, but he's getting on in years and his farm needs a bit of help. We usually do it for him around this time, but if you help him, he'll give you ample provisions. We're sure of it."

"You expect me to do work in the mud and the fields like a peasant?" the monk said very slowly and dangerously.

The peasants, for lack of anything else, had a lot of intestinal fortitude. "Yup. That's about the size of it. Sorry."

"Ch'…!"

Hakkai, who was standing nearby, got treated to an unexpected earful of Sanzo's profanity as he muttered away under his breath. Goku, however, was eager to please and grinned gamely. "No problem! We'll do it! We'll do it!…"

'Grrrglegrrrggllrrrg….' went his stomach.  
  
"…But could we have something to eat first?" 

-------------------- 

Old Han lived in a shack at the other end of town. A large shack, considering the fact he was the village chief, but still a shack all the same. Sanzo knocked on the door, and a stooped, wizened old man with flowing beard and long white eyebrows answered. 

"Yes? What can I do for you strangers?" he asked. 

"The villagers told us we might gain shelter at your home for tonight as well as provisions if we help you clean out your fields," Sanzo replied. "How about it?" 

The bluntness of the query didn't seem to surprise Han. "It's hard work, son." 

"I was afraid of that." 

"Ah, no problem for strong young men like you, though. Come inside." Han let them in. 

"I'm not doing the dirty work," grumbled the monk as he entered, "you lot can do it alone." 

"Hey!!!" whined Goku.  
"That ain't no fair, you corrupt monk," Gojyo cursed. 

Hakkai sighed. Here we went again... His eyes wandered around Han's abode until his eyes fell on a table nearby. His heart skipped several beats when he saw a silver cross on a chain lying on it.

_Kanan used to wear a cross exactly like it_. 

"That's a nice cross," Hakkai remarked nonchalantly. "Where'd it come from?"

"Oh, that?" Han asked cheerfully. "It belongs to my adopted daughter, Meiryu. She's out at the moment. I shall call her." Han shuffled off, calling "Meiryu! Meiryu, we have guests! Come and meet them!" 

Hakkai picked the choker up, traced the outline of the cross in his palm with delicate touch. Uncanny. Every nick and rough patch, just as he remembered it, in the exact places they should be. No, it couldn't be.

Could it?

"Hey, 'niichan! What are you doing with my cross?!"  


The rest of the Sanzo-ikkou were already almost gaping with shock when they saw the answer's face, so imagine Hakkai's surprise when he saw this six-year-old child staring back at him.

Eyes the colour of pure Eastern jade and shaped like the only two that had seen the colour of the demon-convert's soul. Hair that dark-brown, almost black colour, hair the colour of the hair that had mingled with Kanan's long tresses many a night while they were still together, with two symmetrical bangs framing her face, and falling over her eyebrows. Skin clear and fair like the hands that loved Cho Gonou's hands and held his heart with the touch of a butterfly…

This was REALLY uncanny. Even her simple dress was yellow—not exactly resembling Kanan's favourite garment, but the colour alone…

"Ah... I'm sorry," said Hakkai suddenly, handing the cross back to Meiryu, "I didn't know it was yours." A smile more from embarrassment than anything else reached up from within to touch his face, light the viridian eyes and give the old Hakkai back. She smiled back, shyly took it and slipped it over her head. In proportion to this girl's size, the choker was as good as a necklace. 

"Thank you, oniichan. This was my mom's. I'm Meiryu. What's your name?"

"Me? Oh, I'm Hakkai. Cho Hakkai desu."  
"That was a quick change," mumbled a very surprised Goku. Gojyo shushed him without an insult, for once.

"Cho Hakkai? Hey, you have the same name as my dad, oniichan! His name was Cho Gonou!"

In the resulting five-second long silence, you could almost hear the air molecules flying through space. 

"Er…where is your father, Meiryu?"

"I dunno, oniichan. I never saw him in my life, but Han-jitchan says she really really loved him, and he really really loved her. Kaachan died after I was born. Jitchan told me." 

"Yes, that's true," Han interrupted her. "I found the lass wounded and weak, and so I tried to dress her wounds and give her shelter. It didn't take long before it became clear she was with child. She told me everything about her husband. He seems  
like a nice enough fellow, still don't know why she tried to kill herself for him."

Hakkai cleared his throat nervously. "Sou ka? What was her name?"

Han stroked his beard. "Hummmm. I think…it was…wait, yes, that's it. It was Kanan."

_Oh saints…_ Hakkai thought despairingly. 

"Who are the rest of these people, oniichan? Are they friends?" Meiryu asked innocently, unable to detect the turmoil that was increasing within Hakkai by the minute.

"I'm Son Goku! Nice to meet you!" grinned Goku.

"Hey, little girl. I'm Sha Gojyo." This said very smoothly with the cigarette not moving an inch. 

"Hi hi!" Meiryu broke into a nice big grin, not unlike Cho Gonou's. "Er…and who's the blonde monk?"

"W-h-a-t did you SAY?"

Sanzo looked fit to explode, and his forehead vein throbbed in double time, but Hakkai saved him the trouble. "That's Genjo Sanzo."

"Sanzo-houshi-sama? Wooooowwwwww…" You could almost count the stars in Meiryu's eyes. The monk resisted the growing urge to palm his forehead.

Old Han interjected at this point. "I can give you gents work, but we'll start tomorrow. Come, you all look starved. Let's have dinner."

"Whoopee!" Goku cheered.

"These oniichan are going to stay with us?" asked Meiryu.

"Yep."

"Yay! That's great!" Meiryu beamed. "Come on, Hakkai-niichan, Goku-niichan, Gojyo-niichan, Sanzo-niichan, let's go eat!"

Sanzo's feet went into motion, but it took his brain a while longer to engage. The voices around him had a somewhat floaty, distant sound to them compared to the little voice talking in his head.

_Did she just call me **Sanzo-NIICHAN?!!!_ **

--------------------

**Japanese notes **

~Chan = diminutive form of 'san'.   
Genjou = Sanzo's, errrr, Buddhist name?   
Gyuumaou = Bull Demon, also known as Strong Buffalo.   
Hara hetta = 'I'm hungry!' (Literally, my stomach is going down)   
Harisen = Sanzo's (in)famous paper fan   
Houshi = 'Master'   
Jitchan = Shorter, cutesy form of (o)jisan, uncle, or in this case, (o)jiisan_,_ grandfather. I saw it used in Ultra Ninja Manual by Midou Kazuhiko.  
Kaachan = cutesy form of (o)kaasan, which is what you call your mother.   
Kinki no ko = 'Taboo child'   
(O)Niichan = cutesy form of oniisan, big brother.   
Sama = Honorific form of 'san'.   
Shakujou = Khakkhara, bishop's staff. 


	3. Part 3: Believing Alone

**UltraM2000:** *bursts out laughing* Bwahahahaha! High-and-mighty Sanzo-sama's an _oniiiiiiiiiichaaaaaaaaan_…!  
**Gojyo:** *snigger* Come on, _Sanzo-oniichan_, it's bedtime. Read us a story…  
**Goku: **Hey Sanzo, can _I_ call you _oniichan_, then?  
**Sanzo: **One more word and I swear on my sutras I'll (words implying much unpleasant torture). NOW GET—TO—BED!!!  
**Gojyo n Goku n M2000: **OK, OK…Sanzo-_niichan_!!! AAAAH! *dodge hail of bullets*  
  
Hakkai fans (as opposed to, say, […x]Hakkai[x…] fans ;)), rejoice! This fic is unadulterated Saiyuki/Hakkai fluff! It's based wholly on the anime, since I have had no experience with the _manga_. I hope you enjoy it, and please do R and R! I would greatly appreciate it! ^_^  
**Freak@ngel**—point taken! However, I have been chided before for using too much Japanese in my fics and roleplay, so I thought I'd better put them in. A newbie or two might find 'em useful. In any case, Japanese notes are not as, er, copious from here on in, and thank you for reviewing! ^.^  
**Teiya**—San kyuu! I continue!  
**Gokugurl**—Greetings, O Writer Of Slash. O, so you actually *like* straight pairings? Hope for you yet *evil cackle*. _Gomen_, _Kanan wa shinda ze…sumannai…*_dodges evil bombs of Gokugurl_*  
  
_Until the Saiyuki biseinen all get married…to WOMEN, all you yaoi fans…Gensoumaden Saiyuki is not mine in any way. I only own a Saiyuki fanbook that is falling apart after only a month—that, and my fluff and wisecracks. 

**_Smile of the Father  
By UltraM2000_**

**PART THREE  
BELIEVING ALONE **_  
Taue no Sekkyou_

Gojyo dug his sharp elbow into Goku's ribs time and time again to stop him rolling all over the futon the two had to end up sharing. Han only had one spare room in the house, and only one bed in the room. 

Guess which blonde, acidic sutra-bearing monk got it. 

Two futons had been laid out on the floor and Gojyo had played a round of poker with Hakkai to see who 'got' to share his bed with Goku. 

Guess who lost. 

Eventually Gojyo got fed up of shoving Goku every-which-way, and got up with an impatient sigh. The sleeping youth took this as an opportunity to seize all the blankets, leading Gojyo to hiss with rage—not too loudly, of course, lest Sanzo wake up. He had his demon-killing shoureijuu Smith & Wesson in his hand, locked and loaded, warning others of the consequences of disturbing Sanzo-sama's beauty sleep. Cursing the way only a demon can curse, Sha Gojyo left the room and walked to the kitchen to see if he could salvage some alcohol. 

He didn't find alcohol, but Hakkai's futon had been empty when he had left and he found the latter sitting at the dining table, staring into the flames of a candle. 

"You're one strange fella," Gojyo said, drawing up a chair to sit opposite the man he had saved from death 3 years ago. "Sanzo gets up to smoke. I sneak out to drink and find chicks. Monkey sleepwalks to fill his stomach. You? You wake up in the middle of the night to stare into the flames of a ruddy candle. What's the fun in that?" 

"I can't sleep, Gojyo," Hakkai remarked mildly, as if just commenting on the weather. He was actually thinking of Kanan's words again as he looked into the flames. 

_When we have children…_ the statement had turned into an 'if' and a 'had'. 

"Dun' give me that crap," the crimson-haired hybrid remarked sweetly. "That doesn't answer my question. You really think Meiryu is…you know…your kid?" 

"I'm not sure WHAT to think anymore. It's been so long since…since that time. I never wanted to think Kanan died in front of me, just kept deluding myself and hoping that someday on the street, wherever we may be, I'd see her again and we could say 'It's all been a big mistake, love, let's go home and live happily ever after'…" Hakkai sighed, an expression of wryness in itself. "Cho Hakkai is guilty of VERY wishful thinking." 

"Maybe," Gojyo agreed softly. "We all have our secret desires. But what if Meiryu isn't your kid? What if it's just a coincidence?" 

"Then I'll take it as a pretty incredible coincidence. But somehow, I don't feel like it's a coincidence. I feel like I've found a part of Gonou that died a long time ago." Hakkai smiled at Gojyo again, first true smile that Gojyo had seen all day, and the half-demon drank deep of it. 

"See, now THIS is the Cho Hakkai we all know," Gojyo grinned. "This kid did something we never could. Made you smile when you didn't feel like it." 

Hakkai blushed slightly and let the matter slide. "Maa, maa, Gojyo, I've bored you for long enough. I'm going to bed. Goodnight," Hakkai said, pulling back from the table and left with a happy little pat to Gojyo's shoulder. 

Gojyo snorted softly. "Hmph. I was hoping I didn't have to play Solitaire again to pass the night." 

Hakkai did NOT go to bed. He passed by Old Han's room, hearing faint snores bubbling up behind the closed door, and took a cursory peek into the one the ikkou were sharing. Sanzo was grumbling in his sleep (some things never change) while Goku had claimed the whole futon as his territory and was sprawled all over it like a starfish on a rock. 

"Oh dear, Gojyo's not going to be happy about that," Hakkai remarked softly. 

Meiryu was sleeping in the room across the corridor to old Han. Her breath was peaceful and even as she slept, a small smile lingered on her face. Doubtless, she was dreaming of nicer things than this drab old world, but Hakkai wouldn't notice the tiny touch of sadness in the smile until later, for said touch had become very much part of his own expression. 

And as Hakkai watched her sleep, and he would for the rest of the night, he found himself humming softly—a lullaby. 

_Eyes like Eastern jade, hair like sylvan night…Kanan, this object of beauty could have never been fathered by the Hundred-Eyed Demon…_

--------------------

The next day, Han put the _ikkou_ to work in the rice fields he owned. It was planting season. Sanzo grumbled, but Goku, Gojyo and Hakkai put him up to it SOMEhow.  
  
"Hakkai-niichan's coming with me!" chirped Meiryu, tugging at the hem of the loose T-shirt Hakkai had changed into. "Oniichan, ikou, ikou, ikou…" she wheedled, tugging at one of his hands. 

"All right, all right, we're going, we're going…"   
  
"Hakkai seems to be very popular with the girls today," Gojyo remarked with a lopsided grin.   
  
"Whassamatter, gokiburi, you jealous?" snickered Goku.   
  
"Wait 'til I get my hands on you, monkey, I'll…"   
  
"URUSAI—!!!" screamed Sanzo at the top of his lungs and slammed the harisen down as hard as he could on Goku and Gojyo's heads. "Get out there and quit shilly-shallying around!"   
  
Meiryu took in the scene silently and turned to Hakkai. "Oniichan, are your friends always like that?"   
  
Hakkai folded his arms and sighed, the corners of his mouth turning up in a trademark smile. "Unfortunately." 

-------------------- 

In all his 23 years, Sanzo had never thought he would stoop to working in the mud for his keep. But here he was, in clothes borrowed from Old Han (and a size too big for him) pulling up weeds from the muddy water. Sanzo cursed Old Han's ancestors, and THEIR ancestors, and the one's before those…   
  
"Oi, Old Han."  
  
"Mmn?"   
  
"This land looks pretty fertile. Good place to build a home, so why haven't I seen any women or children here besides Meiryu?"   
  
Old Han scratched his balding pate. "This land is fertile, all right, but there's a reason why. Demons live around this area."   
_  
_ _Youkai!_ Sanzo's guard went right up.   
  
"They fertilise the earth for us, keep the town alive, but every ten years, they pay us a visit for their reward, a sacrifice. They are usually very hungry when they do arrive."   
  
"And?"   
  
"They first started on the women, and soon there were none left. When we sacrificed a child for them many years back, when I was still a boy, they seemed to like it even more than our lasses. Hence…this." He gestured into the empty air. "All the families that could fled and never returned. The demons will arrive again tomorrow. Although I fear for Meiryu, I must defend her with all my strength."   
  
"Does Meiryu know about this?"  
  
"Yes."   
  
"Do any of my companions know this?"   
  
"No. You're the first to ask."   
  
_Hakkai's going to pitch a fit when he finds out,_ thought Sanzo. _But he's not finding it out from me._ 

-------------------- 

They spent the better part of the morning transplanting rice seedlings into the flooded fields, and by midday the work was more than halfway completed. The ikkou, Old Han and Meiryu cleaned themselves up and sat down to some obentou. Meiryu didn't seem too hungry and picked gingerly at the food.  
  
"Are you all right, Meiryu? Something the matter?"  
  
"No…not really."   
  
"It's not good to be fussy," he added, pointing at her bentou.   
  
"OK, OK," said Meiryu, and forced herself to eat a few mouthfuls. "Boy, you sound just like an otousan."  
  
"Do I?"   
  
"Yup." Meiryu nodded and resumed eating. After a while, she sighed and said "You know, I kind of feel sorry for the rice."   
  
"Are? Why?"   
  
"The rice is helpless. We give it a home, we fertilise it, we treat it with tender care, and after all that's done, we harvest it and eat it. It's not fair to the rice, is it oniichan?"   
  
She sounded so serious about it Hakkai was compelled to not smile either. "Hmm. A good point, but I believe the rice becomes part of us; therefore, it lives on. Don't feel too sad for it."   
  
"OK. I won't." But deep down, though, her little heart was thinking of more serious thoughts. So many questions had to remain unasked.   
  
_Hakkai oniichan, does it hurt to die? Do you know if the youkai will be fierce, or nice, like you? Do you know if they'll tie you down, before they use the knife on your throat? Do you know how long it'll hurt?   
  
_Ne, oniichan, shinjau no wa itai desu ka?_ 

-------------------- 

That night, Han got the provisions ready for the ikkou. "There. Thank you all for your help. Now you can leave tomorrow, but not before I give you lot breakfast!"  
  
"_Sankyuu_!" grinned Goku. "So, what's for dinner? I'm sooooo HUNGRY!"   
  
"Stupid saru, you're ALWAYS hungry," taunted Gojyo.   
  
"Maa, maa…" Hakkai began faintly.   
  
"Well, you'll see soon enough. Come on! Dinner's served!"   
  
The whole atmosphere was one of celebration and happiness at the table. Even Meiryu seemed to have cheered up, and was talking nineteen-to-the-dozen with Goku, Hakkai and Gojyo all at the same time. Only Sanzo seemed not to have fallen prey to her girlish charms, and was just eating his rice silently.   
  
"Ne, Sanzo-niichan?"   
  
Twitch. There she went with the oniichan again. "What?" he grumbled.   
  
"Why are you blonde?"   
  
Sanzo made a sound that was something between 'hmph' and a snort. "Because I was born blonde."   
  
"Oo. OK. It's a nice colour! It's like the sun that shines on the rice!"   
  
The sun…   
  
Sanzo and Goku could almost hear a voice echoing in the depths of time behind them.   
  
_'Sugeeee…your hair is shining like the sun…'   
  
'Bakazaru…!'   
  
Konzen Douji.   
  
Tenpou Gensui.   
  
Kenren Taisho.   
  
Seiten Taisei Son Goku_.   
  
Goku looked a little distant after that and had to be prodded into consciousness by Meiryu, but Sanzo seemed completely unaffected. Still, obviously something must have touched him because he was actually polite.   
  
"Thank you, Meiryu. I'm glad you think so."   
  
"Y'welcome," the girl beamed.   
  
Sanzo almost smiled. _Almost_.

--------------------

Japanese notes

Gokiburi = cockroach  
Ikou = volitional form of verb 'iku', to go.  
Maa, maa = In this context, 'well,…'.  
Shoureijuu = Commonly translated as 'Demon-Ascending Gun'.  
Shinjau no wa itai desu ka= 'Does it hurt to die?' But come on, you must have figured this out before.  
Urusai = noisy. In short, 'SHUT UP!'


	4. Part 4: Fragments of Love

Hakkai fans (as opposed to, say, […x]Hakkai[x…] fans ;)), rejoice! This fic is unadulterated Saiyuki/Hakkai fluff! It's based wholly on the anime, since I have had no experience with the _manga_. I hope you enjoy it, and please do R and R! I would greatly appreciate it! ^_^ 

**Chapter Four Warning: Fluff Alert!**

**Teiya**—He _would_, wouldn't he? ;) Hakkai's really is wondering if Meiryu is his kid. Sigh…  
**Polaris**—hmm, yeah, I never thought about that. On the other hand, the rice field is flooded for planting so it would be pretty hard for Gojyo and Sanzo to set it on fire. You will like the upcoming fight, methinks—lots and lots of demons—and as for Kanan, WELL, that would spoil the ending and all, _desu ne_?  
**Gokugurl**—bah! _Sore douzen darou! _Ah, um, Kanan I mean, not the yaoi. Oh, btw, I'm not a bunch of people so _temee_ is sufficient to curse moi. :) Thanks for the alert.  
**Rook**—Sanzo and Shadow Skill fan, eh? ^_^ Don't worry about Meiryu. No one dies in this fic…yet.  
**Passerby**—keep watching.**  
**  
Until Hakkai smokes, Gojyo is clean-minded, Sanzo is truly pure of heart (snort) and Goku's voice breaks…Gensoumaden Saiyuki is not mine in any way. I only own a Saiyuki fanbook that is falling apart after only a month—that, and 4 Terebi Magazine Ultraman posters, 6 hand-made Ultraman Tiga, Ultraman: Super Fighter Legend and Ultra Ninja Manual posters, a sketch of Dita and Hibiki by Zid from the MAAO (M'sian Amateur Artists Org), my big stuffed Ultraman…*ramble ramble* 

**_Smile of the Father  
By UltraM2000_**

**PART FOUR  
FRAGMENTS OF LOVE  
**_Akumu _

Old Han made Meiryu turn in early that night, and as he tucked the covers up around her head, he talked more gently to her than usual. "Sleep well, Meiryu. We will meet again in the morning."   
  
"Un. Goodnight, Han jitchan." After Han left, Meiryu tossed and turned and tried desperately to sleep, but she was too keyed up to even close her eyes. When she finally did, though, a nightmare enfolded her in its grasp.  
_  
_ _She was running towards Han's house, past the flowers and the rice she loved. The warm sun shone on her back, the wind played through her hair. "Jitchan!!!" she called. She had been saved from the sacrifice. Life was good. "Jitchan!" _

_"Are, Jitchan…?"  
  
The house was empty, but Meiryu could hear the tap dripping. She walked into the kitchen to turn it off, but slipped on the wet floor.  
  
Crack!  
  
"Owwwwie!"   
  
_ _Meiryu had twisted her ankle it in the awkward fall. Gosh, it hurt like mad! She thought it was bleeding, but the skin wasn't broken. Why was she sitting in a puddle of water, then? Had she wet her pants? Bad, bad Meiryu!  
__  
Meiryu turned her head to see a lady sitting at the table. She seemed to be asleep, with her head pillowed by her left arm. Across the table lay a man she had seen often enough in her mother's one and only picture of him to be able to recognise him. Their fingertips just touched as they slept. It was then that the girl noticed the horrified expressions on the faces of Cho Kanan and Cho Gonou, and the scarlet that had spattered their clothes.  
  
Scarlet?  
  
Oh no.  
  
"Okaasan! Otousan!! Oh my God! No, noooo!!!"  
  
They weren't just sleeping; neither was the dripping from the tap but from the blood, red, and sticky from the table over which the couple had slumped. It was flowing all around her, staining her dress and legs.  
  
And then **they** came; the youkai. So they did want their sacrifice after all. Eyes hungry and hollow, they surrounded her, chanting her name. Then each raised shiny claws to kill.  
  
Meiryu screamed. _

--------------------

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!"   
  
Meiryu jolted right up, clutching the damp blankets to her chest. Her breath was coming in frightened gasps and sweat plastered her hair to her forehead. Without wasting more time, she ran straight to Old Han's room.  
  
Old Han wasn't there. His bed hadn't even been slept in.  
  
Meiryu was almost crazed with fear. Maybe the youkai had got him while she was asleep. Maybe they got the other oniichan too. Oh no. Please, no. She ran to the room next to Old Han's. Gojyo and Goku were still fighting each other for space on the futon in their sleep. Her gaze flew to the sleeping, blonde figure on the bed.  
  
"Sanzo-niichan! Sanzo-niichan PLEASE wake up!" She tugged furiously at his blankets, the only thing she could reach from the edge of the bed. Sanzo's amethyst eyes flew wide open and he lurched awake, whirling round to face Meiryu. "Whadja want?" he asked shortly.  
  
Meiryu's eyes were round and scared. "I…I had a nightm-m-mare," she stammered.  
  
"Ah, go find Hakkai. I want to sleep," snarled the monk and yanked he covers up over his head.  
  
Meiryu was too scared to do anything else but do as Sanzo said. Hakkai wasn't in his futon—he must not have been able to sleep again. Still clutching her blanket like a talisman she ran towards the dining room. Hakkai's back met her, as he was staring into the candlelight once again.  
  
Relief flooded the little girl's heart. Hakkai-niichan…he was here. He wasn't dead. He was nice to her, he would surely understand.  
  
"Hakkai-niichan?" she called tentatively, her voice shaky. 

-------------------- 

Cho Hakkai had been staring into the candlelight for the second time in 48 hours. They left tomorrow, and with their departure also fled the chance of his ever knowing for sure whether Meiryu really did have his blood and Kanan's. Whether Kanan had really died in vain because of his tardiness.   
  
But what did it matter, now that someone was calling him with a note of desperation in her voice?  
  
"Hakkai-niichan?"  
  
Hakkai stirred at the sound of her voice, and turned to face her. "Meiryu? Why are you up at this time of night?"  
  
Meiryu's whole expression seemed to disintegrate as she burst from the dark shadows and flung herself upon him, near-bowling him off the chair. She clung to his shirt, crying fit to break one's heart.   
  
"Meiryuu-chan, dou ka shitan desu ka?" he asked, concern far outweighing surprise.  
  
"Old Han's gone and Sanzo-niichan wants to sleep and I…I…I had a nightmare and I'm so SCARED!" she managed to stammer before breaking into fresh sobs. Hakkai could tell she was scared half out of her wits and asked nothing else. Must have been some nightmare, and he felt it had something to do with the rice analogy earlier that day.  
  
_She felt sorry for the rice…_  
  
"Shh…Maa, maa, it's all right. Nobody will hurt you, Meiryu. I'm here. We're all here. You're safe, all right?" he soothed, running his fingers through the still sweat-damp hair. She nodded slightly, closing her eyes against the tears that still threatened and leaning against Hakkai's shoulder, his clean ash-soap-and-water scent filling her nostrils. A sense of peace and security slowly crept up her, steadying the frantic heartbeat, relaxing the tensed muscles. She could faintly sense Hakkai running his long, slim fingers through her hair. It felt good somehow. and she snuggled closer to him, resting her head wearily upon his chest and listening to his slow heartbeat.  
  
Hakkai was thinking of other things. There was a strong scent around him, not of blood or fear, but of pine and oranges. It smelt more or less like what Kanan's tresses had smelt like—he had spent enough time together with her to remember, although that memory was fast fading. It was so strong his eyes almost watered, and it took some time to realise he had his cheek resting gently on Meiryu's head, his nose buried in the little one's mahogany hair…  
  
You know, he had always thought it was Kanan's shampoo.  
  
"Come on, Meiryu, we'd best get to sleep," Hakkai murmured softly. He rose from his seat and carried her to her room like she weighed no more than Hakuryuu. After he had tucked her in and turned to go, however, a small hand caught his own.  
  
"Stay with me a little while, oniichan, please?"  
  
Hakkai seemed to hesitate momentarily before relenting. "All right. I'll stay." Meiryu smiled gratefully at him and scooted over to the edge of the bed.  
  
"A…Anou, you want me to stay in bed with you?"   
  
"Yes. I mean…if…if it's all right. I don't wanna have that dream again."  
  
A wave of protectiveness surged up within Hakkai's breast. "You will not ever have that dream," he said with all certainty, "while I'm here. Count on it." He sat down on the bed—there would be just enough room for him to lie down. The bed really wasn't made for two people, though, so Meiryu ended up with her head on his chest and one arm flung across him. He stretched his arms out and crossed them loosely over the small of her back before closing his eyes.   
  
"Ne, Hakkai-niichan…" whispered Meiryu sleepily, "did you know my dad?  
  
"Cho Gonou? Yes, I knew him," Hakkai said after a short pause.  
  
"Is he alive?"  
  
"No...he died six years ago. Before you were born."  
  
"What was he like?"  
  
"Oh! He looked like me, actually."  
  
"Really? Was he like you?"  
  
"In many ways. Some people even say we were like the same person!"  
  
"Is that so? Then I know he must be really nice, like you are, niichan. I would love to see him…someday…or maybe…(yawn)  
  
"I wish you were my otousan. I couldn't ask for much more at the moment."  
  
Her breathing became soft and regular, and Meiryu was lulled to sleep by Hakkai's steady heartbeat. The young man closed his eyes and sighed, stroking Meiryu's hair again and gently hugging her like she would break with too much pressure.  
  
"Neither could I, little one. Neither could I," he whispered as drops of crystal slipped softly down his cheeks and onto her head.  
  
Cho Hakkai was crying. 

--------------------

The next day dawned hot and bright. Old Han did not go out to the fields today and Meiryu sat on the ground outside the shack looking at the clouds. The wind rustled the newly planted paddy and the flowers she had planted for Old Han along the cottage path.  
  
Hakkai was scratching Hakuryuu's neck as the dragon sat upon his shoulder when he saw Meiryu looking pensive. "That dream still bothering you, then?" he asked, trying to sound cheerful.  
  
"It won't be a dream soon enough," she murmured, patting Hakuryuu's head.  
  
"?"  
  
It was only now that Meiryu told Hakkai what had transpired during last night's nightmare, and the truth about her fate. 

"…and every ten years, the youkai who guard our town come to this village for their sacrifice. They want children. This year it's me."  
  
"What? Why did you never say anything of this to me?"  
  
Meiryu hung her head. "I didn't want you to worry about me, oniichan. I'm sorry. Oniichan?"   
  
Hakkai's expression had evolved from cheerfulness to shock to dead galloping seriousness.  
  
"P…please don't be angry with me," she pleaded, wringing her hands. Hakkai just patted her on the head, got up and strode into the house to find Old Han.   
  
It was then Goku appeared from the spare room, munching on a small banana and just in time to hear a war of words going on between Hakkai and Han.  
  
"…Yes. It is true. We have no other children in this village. She will be offered as a sacrifice."  
  
"She is your ward, for Kanzeon's sake! Are you not going to do something to stop it?"  
  
"I can only defend her best as I can; that is all. If they do not get their sacrifice, the town will be destroyed. They have that power."  
  
"But Meiryu's innocent. She doesn't even know why this has to happen!"  
  
Han's expression turned grim. "It is the way we survive, Hakkai-san. Please do not question these motives. You are a stranger here. Why do you care?"  
  
Hakkai's expression turned even grimmer, as if he had heard these words before. He undoubtedly looked quite scary without his trademark smile. "Tada…hoka no mono o tsukatte ikiru no wa ikenai desu kara," he replied quietly, the undertone of anger just barely controlled. Only because it is never viable to use others to survive. He could see no way to discuss this with Han—no, he would have to work alone on this one.  
  
Hakkai exited the house and went to find Meiryu. Placing his hands on her shoulders, he smiled and told her "Meiryu, don't worry. Oniichan will find a way to save you."   
  
"But, but…if I don't…then…"  
  
"I will make sure those demons never harm you, or this village again."  
  
Meiryu was shocked out of her wits. She could not, for the life of her, understand these sudden arrangements. "Why?" she finally managed.  
  
"Because…" Hakkai took a deep breath and began. "Because I used to be married to a woman very much like your mother, Meiryu. She died before our child was born, and…"  
  
_Why are you explaining all this to her? Tell her the truth. You have found yourself and you like what you have found._  
  
"…she died before our child was born, and…anou, if she had lived, she would be just about your age." Seeing the look on her face, he softly added "If you don't or can't understand, then please forgive this oniichan's deeds."  
  
Meiryu understood perfectly. "Oh, oniichan, I didn't know! That is so sad...I…oh Hakkai-niichan, arigatou!" she sobbed and flung her arms around him again. Hakkai did not hesitate this time around to close his arms around the child, certain that yes, this was the life born between Cho Gonou and Kanan six years ago.  
  
This time, I will protect what is left to me. This time, I will not fail.  
  
"Yare, yare…what a scene," said Gojyo with a resigned grin. He had suddenly appeared from nowhere, a cigarette stub dangling between his lips and shakujou over one shoulder. "Y'know, I still can't stand to see a woman cry."  
  
"And I'm not letting such a cute kid die!" said Goku, nodding his head vigorously and swallowing the last of his banana.  
  
"Kyuuuuuu!" squeaked Hakuryuu fiercely—well, as fiercely as a small, cute dragon could squeak.  
  
"Don't look at me, Hakkai," muttered Sanzo, "I'm just coming along to keep these loons in check. Now where and when are those youkai going to show up?"

--------------------

**Japanese notes**

Anou = Well…  
Dou ka shitan desu ka = 'What's the matter?' But then, you figured that out, ne?  
Masa ka = Is this true?  
Ne = Cute, rather uniquely Japanese particle. Used soliciting agreement, or softening the impact of a statement.  
(O)kaasan = What you call your mother.  
(O)tousan = What you call your father.


	5. Part 5: Hearing A Heart's Voice

**UltraM2000:** _Mooooouuuuu…Sanzou-sama, _you're MEAN!  
**Goku: **_Sou yo!  
_**Sanzo:** What are you two monkeys talking about?  
**M2000: **_Meiryuu sa, ME-I-RYUU_!You chased that poor kid away when all she wanted was to talk her fears through!  
**Sanzo: **I was sleepy, all right?  
**M2000: **When KOURYUU had nightmares, did Koumyou Sanzou send HIM back to sleep frightened?  
**Sanzo:**I never had nightmares.  
**Goku: **You didn't?  
**M2000: **Damn straight…*sweatdrop*

Hakkai fans (as opposed to, say, […x]Hakkai[x…] fans ;)), rejoice! This fic is unadulterated Saiyuki/Hakkai fluff! It's based wholly on the anime, since I have had no experience with the _manga_. I hope you enjoy it, and please do R and R! I would greatly appreciate it! ^_^Incidentally, I just caught Ep 23 of Saiyuki, Scapegoat (Fukujuu no Daika), and realise that the story of SOTF is very, very similar to it. Just thought I'd say it now—this fic was inspired wholly by Ep 11-12 and resemblance to Scapegoat is pretty much coincidental!

**Rook—**sorry I had to remove ur last review. I know I messed up, uploading part 6, but don't 'spoil the ending' for the others who didn't read it, _onegai_!  
**YunCyn**—yeah, for some reason the bad guys in the fic always get good lines…heheh…OW! Who threw that _harisen_?! In any case, no one dies…in this chapter, anyway.  
**vermillian—**Thank you. I do as you wish. :)   
**Gokugurl**--mou..._nani o te ni irete mo manzoku suru koto wa nai_...well, I suppose you do have a point...but don't forget I wear speccies too! :) 

Have you seen Koumyou Sanzou frown? No? Then Gensoumaden Saiyuki is not mine in any way. I only own a Saiyuki fanbook that is falling apart after only a month, and my exclusive, sing-alongable translations of Saiyuki themes. _Eyes looking far away…_

**_Smile of the Father  
By UltraM2000 _**

**PART FIVE  
HEARING A HEART'S VOICE  
**_Waratteiru No Youkai  
_

The youkai wasted no time in coming, walking right up the path to Old Han's house. A few of the more cussed ones trampled upon the flowers Meiryu had worked so hard to cultivate in the earth.  
  
"Han! We've come for the sacrifice you promised us!" yelled the leader, a strapping, grey-skinned bloke with a sword the size of his arm. "Bring her out! We're bloody hungry!"  
  
It was not Old Han who appeared with Meiryu. It was a smooth-faced, monocle-wearing young man, holding Meiryu's hand tightly in his own. His brown-ebon hair was whipped around in the sudden breeze and the smouldering emerald eyes and tight-lipped expression told them he meant business. Appearing behind him was a lanky, crimson-haired half-youkai, a very irritated-looking youth wielding a red and gold staff and an extremely bored-looking blonde monk with sutras on his shoulders.  
  
"I'm sorry gentlemen, but if you're looking for this young lady, you will have to get through me first," the monocle said politely—almost too politely.  
  
"Oh yeah? And just who are you lot?"  
  
"Us?" asked Gojyo, feigning innocence. "Nobody special, really."  
  
"We're just passing travellers," said Sanzo, but even as he did so he was dangling the shoureijuu from its trigger.  
  
"Nyyararararaaaaaaarrrrrr!" yelled Goku in reply, and struck the leader an almighty crack to the head with the Nyoibou, sending him flying into a pile of farm-fresh vegetables.  
  
He didn't take it sitting down. "Attack the fools and seize the girl!" the youkai shrieked, cabbage leaves sticking to his ears and hair, and his men surged forward. The fight was on!  
  
"Huh, it's fifty of them to one of us," muttered Gojyo as he kicked a demon's teeth in.  
  
"Yeah…too boring! You think they'd have come in more force," grinned Goku.  
  
"Trust you to say that, saru."  
  
"Saru ja nee!"  
  
Shakujou, nyoibou, ki balls and crystal bullets rained in every direction as the fight went on. Gojyo was in his element, cursing his opponents even as he sliced them into ribbons with his silver crescent blade. Goku separated the Nyoibou into three sections, enabling him to double the damage with the Nyoi-Sansetsukon or Almighty Triple Cudgels. Sanzo, true to nonchalant nature, just fired at will into the seething mess of demons as their dying screams rang through the air.  
  
All of a sudden, five demons broke away from the melee and rushed towards the defenceless Meiryu. Hakkai did not let this escape unnoticed and despatching the demons before him, he, too, broke away from the battle and shot like an arrow towards Meiryu. His jade eyes still smouldered with fury. Split seconds before the youkai closed in upon them, Hakkai had hooked one arm around the girl's waist and prepared to act.  
  
"Meiryu, please hold on tight around my neck. I don't want you to fall and I haven't done this for a while," he said calmly, almost cheerfully, as if he was asking if breakfast would be all right or if she'd like to go and play.  
  
The girl complied, stunned, but scarcely had she done so when Hakkai had sprung up in a superb back flip high into the air. It was a manoeuvre he had not used in quite a while, but it was successful and as he reached the top of the arc, he gathered his ki in his free hand and aimed. A hot wave of energy flew from his palm and splattered bits of youkai messily over the ground. He landed on his feet, seeing Old Han staring at him in an unusual manner. It looked like shock. Hakkai handed Meiryu over to him and spoke only four words.  
  
"Take care of her."  
  
Then he was back in the fray. 

-------------------- 

At the end of an hour the number of youkai had not diminished at a significant enough rate to be called success. Even as one fell, another sprang from the ground to take its place.  
  
"Stupid idiots, why don't you die?!" roared Gojyo.  
  
"You can't kill us," slurred one of them, wiping away the blood from a semi-broken jaw. "We are earth youkai, born of rock and stone. While we tread the Earth, it will restore us. Only another of our kind could kill us, half-breed; only a full demon at the peak of his power."  
  
"Ja…I seem to have no other choice," said Hakkai cheerily.  
  
"Hakkai! No!" exclaimed Goku.   
  
Hakkai's hand was going for the three little metal clips on his ears. Many years ago, he had stolen them from a dead demon to rein in his own force. Now he was about to remove them.  
  
"Foolish mortal, don't underestimate our powers," snorted a foul-smelling specimen. "Your words echo confidence, but deep within I can feel the pulse of fear and hatred. You are no match for us."  
  
"Poetic, aren't you?" Hakkai replied icily. "Still, you can't blame me for trying. Like you, I would like to live. UN-like you, I will."  
  
He had always regretted his demon blood. Now he was glad it flowed through his veins.   
_  
_ _Something_ was going to _bleed_.  
  
The youryoku limiters came off, and the flames leapt to sear the demon-convert's tainted flesh.  
  
"Eep" was all the usually smooth-talking Gojyo could manage.  
  
Hakkai screamed in agony as the familiar bitter pain came washing over him, transforming him into what he had become so many years ago. His nails forced their way out of his flesh, becoming brittle claws, and an intricate, vine-like pattern of black wended its way across his pale skin. Still the power was not finished with him. It closed in on his features, narrowing and sharpening them (especially those features called teeth), and then went straight to his head.  
  
_ __I must not lose myself,_ he told himself simply, firmly, and surprisingly, Cho Hakkai did _not _lose himself.  
  
It had been a long time since Cho Gonou the demon had seen the sun, felt it warm his skin. It felt really good. He flexed his claws for a while and then looked into the ranks of demons with narrow eyes. The vine-pattern had extended up to his cheeks, and his face was perfectly expressionless. His hair had darkened to a pure jet-black, like a moonless, starless night, and in the deepest recesses of those dark green eyes, a spark of fire danced and smouldered like the wild soul kept within the physical body.  
  
_And now if you will, Gonou...please kill...kill them all..._  
  
Without another word, the demon-convert launched into the fray and turned seven shades of hell loose, ripping with claws like swords, tearing with fangs like knives. The youkai leader tried to stand up to him, wielding his sword menacingly. Sadly, though he was skilled, it was not enough—Cho evaded two blows, took one to the shoulder, knocked the demon's jaw out of its sockets and clamped his fangs round his throat. Warm blood spilt across his clothes and skin, the demon blood like that which he had shed with his longsword six years ago in the Hundred-Eyed Demon's castle. Not that he took any notice. 

"And don't think we'll just let HIM have all the fun, boys!" yelled Gojyo, slashing with his shakujou again and again. Several demons proved their leader's words were but a mere boast as they fell to the sand, twittering and gasping for air with broken throats and shattered ribs. Goku continued dodging and striking, feet and fists doing well in place of talons and fangs; Sanzo calmly kept on shooting, his movements quick enough to do some occasional dodging when a reload was required for the shoureijuu.  
  
Now they were getting somewhere. The demons' numbers began to decrease until there were none left. Gonou the demon appeared to be just starting, although it was hard to tell when his face was as impassive as Genjo Sanzo's. He then whirled to look for more targets…  
  
And looked straight into Meiryu's eyes. She was staring in awe and fright at Sanzo and the others.  
  
_Oh no,_ thought the inner recesses of the demon-convert's mind, _I must be scaring her more than is necessary._ So saying, he replaced the limiters, feeling the change back from Cho Gonou the demon to Cho Hakkai the human occur almost instantly. A slight light-headedness persisted, but he stood up and turned to smile at Meiryu.  
  
_Cho Hakkai has kept his promise._   
  
_That's what you think,_ hissed a voice in his head.   
  
"Hakkai look out!" Gojyo yelled.  
  
Meiryu's expression changed from shock to smile to silent scream.  
  
Before Hakkai could react, something cold and hard and sharp buried itself in warm, living flesh and blood. Somebody had stabbed him in the lungs.  
Somebody was Old Han. 

-------------------- 

**Japanese notes**

Ja = Shortened form of 'de wa'. Translates something like 'With that…'  
Ki = 'spirit', 'energy'.  
Nyoibou = Commonly translated as 'Almighty Staff'.  
Saru (ja nee/ja nai/de wa nai) = (I am not a) Monkey


	6. Part 6: Baring Fangs In A Smile

Hakkai fans (as opposed to, say, […x]Hakkai[x…] fans ;)), rejoice! This fic is unadulterated Saiyuki/Hakkai fluff! It's based wholly on the anime, since I have had no experience with the _manga_. I hope you enjoy it, and please do R and R! I would greatly appreciate it! ^_^  
**Lady L. Artemisan--**Gomen gomen, I know I hurt Hakkai-_sama_! Fear not, for vengeance is on the Saiyuki side! And thanx for all your kind words and reviewing! o_^

Till Hakuryuu/Jeep turns black and Sanzo's blonde hair goes white…Gensoumaden Saiyuki is not mine in any way. I only own a Saiyuki fanbook that is falling apart, 4 Saiyuki comics, the 2002/3 reprinted versions (I don't have the Hakkai-fluffy issue 4! *cry*) but since I **do**own Meiryuu and Han, I will now unleash the Meiryuu fluff and proceed to slaughter that old goat. Grrrrrr!

**Smile of The Father  
by UltraM2000**

**PART SIX  
BARING FANGS IN A SMILE  
**_Saitei No Haishin_

"H…Han-_jitchan_?" Meiryu asked faintly.  
  
"Sneaky old bastard," snarled Sanzo.  
  
Han grinned, throwing the knife down to the ground. It had a familiar look to Hakkai.  
  
Why shouldn't it? It was his. At least, it had belonged to Cho Gonou.  
_  
And so…goodbye, Gonou…  
  
_"M…_maa, maa_," Hakkai said weakly, hand over the wound staining his green Chinese jacket deep red. "I must have let down my guard," he managed to add before collapsing on his side.  
  
Old Han removed the steel cuff on his wrist. His long, fine white hair grew longer still, and his features sharpened and shrivelled. "Fools, all of you, especially you, Cho Gonou," the old earth demon snarled softly. "You could have had power, but you chose to side with these weak humans. It matters not to me now—too long have I waited to taste this young one's flesh. I have not fed off a strong spirit in a while. Maybe I should eat you as dessert," Han purred, licking his lips.  
  
Meiryu could not stand this any longer. Tears threatening to spill over, she ran to Hakkai's side, grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him for all she was worth.

"Hakkai­-_niichan! _Hakkai­-_niichan_! Hold on! Please, HOLD ON, _oniichan_!" she wept.  
  
Delirious with the pain, Hakkai opened his eyes to vision tinted by blood. He could almost swear that it was Kanan before him, crying…  
  
"Kanan, love, don't cry," he gasped weakly. "I don't want to see you cry again."  
  
"Kanan? I'm not Kanan, I'm Meiryu-_chan_. Stay with me," pleaded the voice he thought was his late lover's.  
  
"I…I can't. Our daughter, Meiryu, she…she still lives. That demon's seed did not take root within you. She looks just like the two of us…She is something to live for…"  
  
"Hakkai's rambling like an idiot," muttered Sanzo softly.  
  
Meiryu was finally able to put two and two together, the truth rushing upon her like a ferocious wave, threatening to drown her. He had known her name. Hakkai-_oniichan_…and Cho Gonou…one and the same. The person she had so longed to meet for the past six years was now dying in front of her.  
  
"_O…otousan_?_ Otousan_, not you too! _OTOUSAAAAAAN!!!_" she screamed over and over, calling Hakkai's name like a mantra that would tie him still to her. It worked, somewhat; he snapped out of his delirium.

"Gomen yo, Meiryu," he whispered, smiling slightly. "You look just like your okaasan..." he choked out, falling into unconsciousness.  
  
"Otousan!!! No, don't go to sleep! Wake up!"  
  
"_Onore_...If you're a demon," began Sanzo, his eyes narrowing, "then how did you know of Kanan? Is Meiryu really her child?"  
  
"Well then, Sanzo-_sama_, let me tell you a story," snorted Han.

--------------------

_ Three years ago, an underling of the Hyakugan Maou called Han Kan returned from a scouting mission to find the clan hold in shambles and every single man dead_._ He appeared to be the only survivor of the massacre, having been in the right place_..._at the wrong time_.

_ But no, he wasn't the only survivor. In one of the cells nearby, he saw a young woman, one he recognised as the Hyakugan Maou's newest toy. She was pale as a sheet and cold as ice, but she was, somehow, miraculously, still breathing. She had tried to kill herself by a slash to the jugular._

_ The minion had a brainwave._ _Hefting the girl's bloody carcass, Han Kan grabbed a burning torch and touched it to every single demon body in the building. They caught fire with amazing ease. The corpses would be fuel enough to burn the whole castle down to ash. He would leave no evidence--someone might want to claim this precious little jewel. _

_ Han Kang took the lady home and damn well forced life back into her. When she awakened after 5 days, Han Kang the demon had already obtained limiters and turned into the kind and genial Old Han. Foolish girl, she thought Old Han no harm and told him about herself. Han found out her name was Kanan, and that she had tried to kill herself rather than bring up a child that was not of her own flesh and blood and her lover's. She told him all about the nice young man that she knew whose name was Cho Gonou. Oftentimes she cried for her foolishness at leaving him alone._

_ It didn't take long before Kanan and Han realised she was pregnant. The minion's plan was falling into place. When Hyakugan Maou rose again, and Han fervently believed he would, he would be able to present his master with a __gift of triumph. Maybe even his heir, since the prince appeared to have been killed in the struggle also. The day never came, and Han grew both weary and furious. One rainy day in March Kanan went into labour and gave birth to a little girl. To her joy, and Han's dismay, the child had brown hair and green eyes, not the crimson features of a demon hybrid._

_ "Such a beautiful child. Oh, Gonou...I shouldn't have doubted that our love was stronger than that," she murmured. "She's beautiful. Little one, I shall call you Meiryu..."_

_ At the limit of his endurance, Han picked up the knife he had found with Kanan and reopened her throat with it in one flash of scarlet. Still bubbling with rage, he burnt the body to ash and flung it to the winds. After that, he set about raising the child of his enemy—the child with brown hair like the woman he wasted his efforts on, green eyes that he grew to hate as the eyes of his enemy. He had not given up all hope. While she lived, he had a bargaining card to avenge his lord and prince. When he found the prince had died for good, Han hated Meiryu even more. Still, he managed to hide it, swallowed several slices of humble pie and waited. Waited. Until today._

_ Yes, Meiryu is your child, Cho Gonou; your own flesh and blood. But it seems, that once again, you cannot protect her. I have avenged my master and fulfilled my obligation, but you have failed. You. Have. Failed._

_ Mou ichido_..._sukuenakatta_...

--------------------

Goku was trying to keep his temper in check and coming close to failing. Would that cursed Isou and his like never die? As he looked at Hakkai, bleeding heavily onto the ground, and Meiryu trying to make him regain consciousness, his heart began to thump fast...

Something had to be done; count on Son Goku to do it.

_Sanzo, please don't be mad...I only want to help._

"Gojyo."

"Huh??"

"Hakkai's down, so...I'm counting on you."

Gojyo didn't even see what was coming until he heard something clink against his shakujou. Goku's kinko was now hanging off the crescent blade.

Son Goku was screaming in pain as his demonic persona took over. Claws sprouted. Fangs sprouted. Hair snapped loose. Pupils narrowed into feral slits.

"Goku!" yelled Gojyo.

"You IDIOT!" shouted Sanzo. At whom the invective was directed, it was hard to say.

_Seiten Taisei Son Goku_--the Great Sage Equal To Heaven--had been unleashed.

"What the heeeeeeellll..." Han began in a hiss.

An eerie smile—the smile of a killer—was on Seiten Taisei's face. His pupils were black slits on a bright golden background, a far cry from the wide, mellow, caramel-gold eyes of his less feral side. Deep within the wild blood, however, the simpler, more peaceful Son Goku's will knew it had no parents to speak of, for it was a product of earth and stone. For the child who knew it, however, he would help keep it safe.

_He is not your sun. But he is the man who first began to love you and your life...and he is my friend...___

"Nyyrrrraaaaaaarr!" Goku shrieked, and turned all hell loose upon Han. Han growled and leapt away from the shot, just in time as Goku's claws caught empty air. Time and time again the 518-year-old demon slashed and struck, growling and shrieking like one possessed.

_Now I am going to HURT you._

Goku leapt and sank a fine flying kick onto Han's ribs. The old demon was sent spinning through the air, and his opponent crouched, leapt into the air and tackled him at the peak of his arc. Han's breath flew from his lungs with a squeaky wheeze as the two crashed into the ground and Goku's claws traced deep furrows over Han Kang's face and neck. Blood began to well from his wounds and spattered both of them.

Han eventually gathered enough of his composure to plant his foot in Goku's midriff and shove, sending the brown-haired demon tumbling across the ground. As Goku leapt back to defend himself, Han fully unsheathed his claws and aimed for Goku's chest. The blow was deflected with a quick swish of an arm, but bone still met flesh and Goku tumbled, his wrist cut wide open.

"Now, is _that_ all," Han sneered.

Goku looked up, his expression contorted in quiet pain. It wasn't like Seiten Taisei Son Goku to whine or shout out. He turned his attention away from Han and towards his wounded arm. Quick as a flash, he bent his head to the slit vein and drank deep, if only to stop the flow with his lapping. His lips worked slowly but surely on the wound until the bleeding slowed to a small trickle.

_B...Baka da!_ thought Han. _Any normal person would be writhing in pain from that blow..._

That was the last thing he thought as Goku bounded towards him and seized upon his shoulder with his fangs. Han shrieked and tried to push him off, but Goku hung on till the very last minute and sharply snapped his head downwards, cutting six inches down and two inches deep into Han's arm. 

_I am going to make you bleed._

Han screamed in agony as Goku tore his shoulder open. It would soon get worse. Goku wanted his blood badly. He struck once more, his rough tongue and sharp fangs grating down on the wound as he drank deep of it. It took some time before Han could push him away. Goku grinned nastily, a trickle of Han's blood sliding down one corner of his mouth.

_Are we having fun yet?_

Small beads of sweat were beginning to form on Han's forehead. He had expected his adversary to go down easily, not some raging young lad who showed no sign of tiring. No choice. He would have to use the ancient spells. From his torn and bloodstained robes he drew a talisman and began chanting.

"Sowataya onkiri, sowataya onkiri, makusan dannahari pancha indara"

"What in the effin--" began Sanzo.

"On kiri unkyaku un, noumaku sanmanda basara dansen damakara shadasowataya, untara ta kan MAN!"

"Goku-_niichan_!" exclaimed Meiryu, her hands stained with blood in her efforts to stop Hakkai's bleeding.

"JI-GO-KU!" roared Han, and slammed his fist and the talisman into the ground. An immense power flooded from the dry and yellowed paper, and shook the ground with the power of ten earthquakes. The earth trembled and cracked all around as rock and stone rose into the sky, creating a maze of jagged walls and impenetrable rock. Some of them spontaneously crumbled and began to rain down on them.

"What I wouldn't do for Hakkai's ki barrier now!" spat Gojyo. A small scream caught his ear just then, and he dashed towards it. He somehow managed to do a forward roll, grab Meiryuu by the collar with one hand and Hakkai by the collar with the other and leap away from the falling rocks. All without dropping his shakujou.

_Great, the one time I do something really cool and nobody's ever going to know!_ he thought irritatedly.

"Now catch me if you can, Son Goku!" Han's voice rang out challengingly as he laughed. He pointed at one stack of rocks after another and they broke into chunks ranging in size from fist-size to about the dimensions of Hakuryuu in his jeep form. Goku studied the situation quickly, then smiled and leapt.

Goku leapt, ducked, turned and slashed with feet, hands and fists. The breaking rocks hit him in the arms, legs, face, chest, drawing blood, but he didn't seem to care. Fighting was his survival. Fighting to the death was his job, and he took a sinful pleasure in carrying it out. Taking advantage of the earth under him, he leapt for a rapidly rising chunk of rock and soil and drove his fist into it. The force sent chunks of rubble slamming into every nearby object, including Han. Goku then leapt and pinned Han down, his claws digging into Han's paper-like skin.

_I am going to kill you._

The old demon choked and struggled, but could not escape the grip of the angriest demon within a 100-km radius. Particularly since Goku had driven his knees into Han's, locking them down.

_I will show you no mercy, bastard!_

"Herghh…H…have mercy…" he gasped. "Hak...Hakkai would have done the same..."

Goku paused momentarily. He cocked his head and then smiled, loosened his grip. Han choked, and tried to get away.

CRUNCH!

Goku spat out a bloody chunk of windpipe as Han twitched and died.

"He doesn't know our Hakkai," Gojyo remarked dryly.

"He doesn't know our Goku, either," Sanzo coldly added.

The power was getting out of control. Any minute now, Seiten Taisei would lose himself and become unstoppable. Still, somehow, the Goku trapped inside was struggling to maintain control. He had to get the diadem back, place it on his head, stop Seiten Taisei from slaughtering anybody else. Movements jerky and struggling, he tried to reach for the diadem.

Sanzo saw the situation immediately and decided not to risk any more. "Gojyo! Get back!" he yelled, clasping his hands together in prayer. Closing his eyes, he began to chant the _Maten Kyoumon _that he wore around his shoulders. Strips of sutra began to rise around him and an unseen wind lifted the blonde fringe straight off his forehead, revealing the crimson chakra of a high Sanzo priest.

"_On-ma-ni-hatsu-mei-un_...Purification of Evil! _MAKAI TENJOU!!!_"

Sanzo pointed forward, and strips of sutra shot forth and imprisoned Seiten Taisei Son Goku in folds of holy incantations. The demon screamed for freedom, but Son Goku seized his chance. For a single instant, the narrow, feral eyes of the youth became calm and innocent again.

"The _kinko_, you fool, Gojyo, replace the _kinko_!" roared Sanzo.

"Huh? Oh! Right!" Gojyo ripped Goku's _kinko_ off his _shakujou_ and slammed it back on the boy's forehead. One last scream erupted from Goku's throat, and then the youkai ears retracted, the claws faded away, and the demon resumed its form as the happy-go-lucky-youth with a bottomless pit for a stomach.  
  
Who promptly fell forwards on the ground, shaking his head blearily. Thank goodness he hadn't fallen into a dead sleep like the last couple of times.  
  
"Thanks...Sanzo..." he panted.  
  
"_Bakazaru_, I always have to save you," came the reply.  
  
"Tch..." began Gojyo, but his reverie was interrupted by the sound of racking sobs.  
  
"_Otousan_! Please don't die! Please, please don't die…!"

_Hakkai! Meiryu! Kuso…That guy's taken wounds as serious and lived. But if we don't stop the bleeding now…!_ thought Gojyo grimly. "Sanzo!"

Sanzo didn't bat an eyelash. "Goku. House. Bandages. Now." Goku was up and running in a flash, and scoured the area for bandages. He found only a few, but managed to salvage clean rags, and one of Old Han's singlets, which he tore apart to vent his rage.

Goku ran out and shoved the 'bandages' into Gojyo's hands. "You took your time about it," muttered the latter, but nodded silent thanks and continued to bind the wound. Something was definitely different about him…

"Eh, Gojyo…your wrist bandages!"  
  
"What about 'em, slowpoke?"

The layers of cloth that were usually wrapped around Gojyo's lower arms were now tied tight around Hakkai's wounded chest, stained with blood.

"Er…nothing."

"Thought so, _saru_."

"_I'M NOT A SARU DAMNIT!_"

Sanzo pointedly ignored the two squabbling men and knelt down by Hakkai's head. He appeared to be thinking of something from the past.

_"_Oi, you hear me, Cho Hakkai?" he said out loud. "I said to you once I don't need a burden on my shoulders. Now hear this. If you die, I have a duty to take your body back to your hometown and give you a burial. I don't know where the hell you come from and I'm not dragging a stinking corpse around until I find out, so if you don't wish to be a burden, live."

_It is all we ask and expect from the likes of you._

Meiryu looked at Sanzo, trying to reach out in his stumbling, blunt way, and proceeded to cry into HIS shoulder. Sanzo grumbled quietly under his breath but didn't push the girl away. He even put one hand on her back.

"Quit your crying, Meiryu. He'll be all right."

"Promise? You'll save him?"

"Monks make no promises, and you have to save yourself. But based on past scenarios, he should be all right." Incongruously, a smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. "These nuts don't die, no matter how much you wish them to."

Meiryu managed a weak, teary smile. "Thanks, Sanzo-_niichan_," she sniffed, looking up at him with large green eyes.

"**Bah!**" spat Sanzo, turning away.

--------------------

**Japanese notes**

Baka da = Nuts, this is impossible  
Gomen = sorry  
Kinko = Gold diadem  
Makai Tenjou = 'purification of evil'. more commonly translated as 'Purify Evil'. (Ma = evil, Kai = forbidden, Ten = Heaven, Jou = Purity)  
Maten Kyoumon = Hell's Plane Sutra  
Mou ichido sukuenakatta = once again, (you) could not save (her)  
On-ma-ni-hatsu-mei-un = 'Om mani padme hum'.  
Onore = archaic and rather rough form of 'you'.  
Seiten Taisei = 'Great Sage Equal to Heaven'


	7. Part 7: A Selfish Song

**UltraM2000: **It's over! *sniff* It's so touching! Thank you for staying with me to the end!  
**Gojyo:** Only because you dragged us into this pit of youkai!  
**M2000: **Better not cross me, dear Gojyo. I'm working on _your_ fiction as we speak. You don't want me to break your *other* wrist, do you?  
**Gojyo: **ME? NO! What goes on in it?! I don't want to have more fluff! And whaddya mean my other wrist? You stabbed Hakkai in the lungs and took Han's throat out, what are you going to do to me?! Oi! Answer me! Don't run away!  
**UltraM2000:** _Gomen_! Must go upload this ultra-fluffy conclusion!

Hakkai fans (as opposed to, say, […x]Hakkai[x…] fans ;)), rejoice! This fic is unadulterated Saiyuki/Hakkai fluff! It's based wholly on the anime, since I have had no experience with the _manga_. I hope you enjoy(ed) it, and please do R and R! I would greatly appreciate it! ^_^_  
_**flare**--sankyuu! :)  
**Lady L. Artemisan**--Don't we BOTH wish we were Meiryu-chan just to um...hem...get close to a certain bishounen? ;)  
**Gokugurl--**Reread the previous chappie. Now ya happy, you violent little kouhai? ^_^ And btw, that was not yaoi, it was fluff. Hell is still nice and hot.

As sure as the Saiyuki ikkou drive to the west and as sure as I have come up with one last epithet for my disclaimer…Gensoumaden Saiyuki is not mine in any way. Neither is the song 'Open Up Your Mind' which is sampled here. I only own a Saiyuki fanbook that is falling apart after only a month—but I do own these translations, and I would love to be a spectator in this fluffy conclusion to Smile of The Father. Tissues, please. Lots of 'em. *sniff*

**_Smile of the Father  
By UltraM2000 _**

**CONCLUSION  
A SELFISH SONG  
**_Mitsukarareta Warai_

Images played before Hakkai's eyes in the darkness—images of his childhood, his encounter with Kanan, how the love between them had deepened and grown, how she had been stolen from him, how Gojyo had saved him, and at last how Cho Gonou had become Cho Hakkai.  
  
Such a sad, blood-tinged past, one would think. Such a sad goodbye.  
  
_ Dakara…sayounara, Gonou…_  
  
Kanan. How long had he waited for this day? How long had he waited to die if only to be with her once more? Six long years—it seemed closer to sixteen.  
  
And then, he heard it. The Voice.  
  
'Hakkai-niichan! Ne, Hakkai-niichan! Come on, let's go! The rice is ready for harvesting! Let's go do it together! We can tell them how sorry we both feel for it, how it has to die for us to stay alive, and it'll be all right…  
  
'Won't it, otousan? Won't it? Otousan?'  
  
Hakkai smiled sadly, a smile that had seen much use but seemed so very unworn. "Sumimasen ne, Kanan…forgive me. Mou osoi narimasu…desu…kedo…"  
  
_I'm going to be late again. But I have something to live for now, and while Meiryu is with me, I will fight Death for all I'm worth._ 

-------------------- 

Hakkai slowly opened his eyes and looked around. All was dim and peaceful, and the faint smell of oranges and pine was in the air. He could swear he heard singing.  
  
How much painkiller had they forced into him anyway, he wondered. 

_Even if it looks like everything just can't go your way today  
When you feel like you must give up the fight  
If you close your eyes and look deep within your heart  
You'll find it bears a world of light _

_Don't tell me heaven looks like an ordinary bedroom too…_ he thought.   
  
No. It wasn't heaven. Heaven wouldn't have Meiryu kneeling beside the bed, asleep with her head on her arms and long brown hair all askew.  
  
Hakkai reached out—the still-raw wound in his chest reminded him of its presence, making him wince—and touched her silken hair with his fingertips. She stirred slightly, and woke.

_In this world when life can be so tough you must be strong  
Just believe in yourself and don't you fear  
So open up your mind and close your eyes  
Take another look from the other side _

"Otousan…" she murmured, struggling to maintain her composure. Hakkai shook his head gently, beseeching her silently to not speak as he ran his hand through her tresses over and over, tracing the contours of her small, slight face, as if to assure himself that yes, she was real and alive and the part of him he had lost six years before. Her own small digits closed tight round his wrist, the only part of him she could reach, and she pressed his hand to her own warm cheek as the tears ran down. Her tiny shoulders shook with pent-up sobs. 

_Even on a lonely night, even when you're lost and full of fright,   
Even if you are alone now, with these legs, there isn't anywhere  
To where you cannot walk on your own…_

"Meiryu, don't cry…please, don't be sad. You've cried so much already…"   
  
"I won't cry no more…I'm not sad…I'm just so happy…I'm so, so happy because I finally found you!" she exclaimed, giving his hand a fervent squeeze.  
  
"Meiryuu…Boku mo ureshii desu yo…aeru kara…" whispered Hakkai, and father and daughter embraced knowing each other for the first time. The music reached a crescendo.

_Just hold on tight, if you close your tired eyes  
Look inside yourself, there is light shining through your soul  
Yes, I want you to believe all that must be  
You can take another look from the other side_

_Just hold on tight, though your heart is breaking down  
Reach into your soul though you can't see tomorrow coming  
Yes if you have that power to survive  
You can take another look from the other side  
'Til you find all that we can call our love…_

_ Now we have found all that we call our love… _

They made a pretty picture, those two—pale cheek to pale cheek, green eye next to green eye and their tears of joy mingling as one. 

--------------------

After a week, with provisions all tied down in the back of Hakuryuu, the Sanzo-ikkou was ready to leave. Now the town was cleansed of demons, the villagers had no more to fear. Life would begin anew, and the town would grow once more, as it should.  
  
"Hakkai's late," grumbled Sanzo.  
  
"Oh, let him be, blondie," snapped Gojyo, "he deserves the downtime."  
  
The fact Sanzo just shrugged and shut up is proof enough that the world is full of miracles.  
  
At what used to be Old Han's shack, Meiryu had her head resting on Hakkai's shoulder, taking in his clean scent again. "Please don't go, otousan. We just met, and I…I don't want to lose you again."  
  
_Unfortunately, another sad goodbye,_ thought Hakkai to himself. "Meiryu…" He untied his thick green bandanna and  
placed it in her hand. "As long as you have this…" he touched Kanan's cross choker, "…And this…" he indicated the headband, "and this," he continued, touching her chest over the heart, "we will always have each other."  
  
Meiryu nodded, and hugged Hakkai for the last time, trying hard not to cry like she had promised him. "Goodbye, otousan. Take care," she said, her voice trembling.  
  
"Goodbye, musume." Hakkai really had to struggle to smile this time. Tears were pricking at the corners of his eyes. "Be a  
good girl and listen to your future guardian, ne?"  
  
Meiryu nodded. "I will! But come back for me someday, won't you?"  
  
Hakkai nodded, ruffled her hair and left.  
  
Minutes later, she heard Hakuryuu start up and drive off with a happy 'kyuu!', and she ran from the shack, following the path of the green jeep.  
  
"Otousan! Otousan! Take care! Otousan! Sanzo-niichan! Gojyo-niichan! Goku-niichan! Sayounara!!!"  
  
He would be back. He promised!   
  
Goku waved for all of them until Meiryu disappeared from sight. Sanzo was quietly reading the newspapers. "Hakkai, Hakuryuu's weaving all over the road. Are you all right?" he asked without looking up.  
  
"Yes…yes I am," Hakkai replied cheerfully, but his eyes seemed especially moist and shiny.  
  
Goku, however, had a lot more intelligence than the others credited him for. He knew right away something was wrong, and leaned comfortingly over Hakkai's shoulder to whisper something in his ear.  
  
"Naa, Hakkai, where's your headband?"  
  
"A-anou..." 

-------------------- 

At the inn that night, Hakkai was doing his laundry in the bathroom and humming softly to himself. He looked over his green jacket carefully. The mended rip across the chest wasn't even noticeable—he was quite proud of his sewing skills, but…

_Hello, what's this on the back of my shirt? _  
  
Two small handprint-shaped stains of dried blood stared him in the face and Hakkai felt a pang of loneliness.  
  
Y'know, the cloth he slung over his shoulder would hide the stains. Maybe he should just leave the prints there to remind him somewhere out there, he had someone to live for. Maybe he should leave them there to remind himself he had fought and defended. Maybe…  
  
No. He had better memories of Meiryu within him. Much, much better than two small and bloody handprints.  
  
Hakkai got out the soap and started scrubbing. 

-------------------- 

_ Someday, I will come back, Kanan, and take our child from the village to live with me. She will be taller, older, and the cross will be a choker once again, but we will remember each other. Your malachite eyes and mine are hers as well, as is our brown-ebon hair and the love we shared for each other. She is our proof. _

_ I must live long and cheat death for longer, for my life must pay for your own too, must it not?  
  
Someday, I will have a family again.  
  
Someday, when I can stop driving Hakuryuu towards the blood-red setting sun._

_-oshimai-_

-------------------- 

**Japanese notes **

Boku mo ureshii desu yo…aeru kara = In this context, 'I'm glad that I found you too'. (I'm glad we were able to meet too)  
Mou osoi narimasu desu kedo = 'although I'm going to be late again…'  
Musume = daughter  
Sumimasen = excuse me, sorry  
Oshimai = The End.

_If you got this far without clicking off, know that this chapter of S.O.T.F. is dedicated to my grand-aunt who died yesterday. She was almost 90 and passed on in her sleep, but the fact remains death is still death._

_*silently goes and glomps Hakkai-sama. Whether he glomps back is his own decision.*_


	8. Omake: Hold A Blue Moon

DISCLAIMER: I know, I know, it's kinda crappy but I had to do this seeing Father's Day was coming up. Happy Father's day to all readers and reader's dads!

Saiyuki is STILL not mine. BUT I have glomped Hakkai several times at Malaysia's inagural Cosplay convention! And Hakkai glomped me too! Oooooooooh! ^________________________________________^

OMAKE/EXTRA  
HOLD A BLUE MOON  
_Itoshii no __Y__ume: A Beloved Dream_

It had been almost one year that night since Hakkai had found his young daughter, Meiryu. Although he never showed it or said anything, he missed the child daily. He wondered how she was doing, whether she was being treated well, whether she was eating right...

Maybe Gojyo was right. He was too much of a mother hen for his own good sometimes. She was all right.

A small frown crossed the young man's features as he looked out the window. He noticed that the velvet sky held a beautiful full moon, tinted a vague azure by the clouds. Hakuryuu sprawled lazily across his stomach like a small, white hot-water bottle and purred as the two stared up at the ceiling. Hakkai scratched the small dragon fondly under the chin as he closed his eyes.

_I wonder, Meiryu, if you can see the same moon I see?_ he thought as he lapsed into slumber.

----------

_ He dreamt he was sitting under a large tree with a wide canopy, a cup of tea in his hand. Stars spangled the night sky like so many countless rhinestones. A warm breeze ruffled the young man's hair as he looked around. He felt like he was waiting for someone, but he didn't know who._

_ "...Where are you?" he wondered softly._

_ It was then he heard the small, light footsteps, and a young girl in a yellow dress appeared behind him. Eyes as green as Hakkai's own widened in surprise and her long hair, the same mahogany hue as Kanan's, was whipped about by the wind._

_ "Otousan?"_

_ "Meiryu!!" he exclaimed, starting to his feet._

_ She had grown a little taller since they had last met, but rather a lot thinner too. Her malachite optics bore a haunted look that only melted away when she set eyes on him. With a cry of "Otousan! You CAME!" she rushed towards him and flung her arms around him, burying her face in his shoulder. He quickly wrapped her in his own embrace, feeling her small and frantic heartbeat against his chest._

_ "Otousan..." she whispered happily. "You really came. I'm so glad..."_

_ "What do you mean, I really came?"_

_ "I wanted you to come. I wanted to see to see you again. They say so many bad things about you in the orphanage, otousan. They say I'm a demon too, but I know it's not true. It's not fair," she choked out, "they don't know what you're like now. They've forgotten what you've done for us. They call me 'demonspawn' and 'murderer's child' and all other things..."_

_ "My poor child," Hakkai murmured tenderly, stroking her hair._

_ "Don't worry 'bout me, otousan. I don't cry so easy any more. That was my promise to you, ne?" A smile graced her face as she looked up at him. "I just wanted so badly to see you again...and here we are. I think I'm dreaming this, but it seems so nice and real."_

_ "I wish it were. I think this is only your dream. But then...I'm seeing the same things as you are."_

_ "Maybe it's our dream. Together. Did you want to see me too, otousan?"_

_ "Of course I did, child. I wondered if you were all right."_

_ "They treat me kinda all right in there," she lied. "I just don't like them teasing you. I wish they'd stop."_

_ "Maybe they will if you just don't take notice of it."_

_ "But 'tousan...!"_

_ "It's all right. They can say what they want--I don't really care. As long as the people around me are safe and happy, anybody can call me anything they want. That's how I function. So don't you worry about me either, all right?"_

_ "Un, OK. Otousan?"_

_ "Yes?"_

_ "Happy Father's Day. It's tomorrow, desho?"_

_ "Ah, so it is."_

_ "Want anything in particular?"_

_ "Just to be with my daughter this one night, and watch the stars together."_

_ "I'd like that too..."_

_ And that is exactly what they did. Watched the stars until the sun rose on a new day._

----------

"Hakkai, are you all right? It's not at all like you to sleep in."

"Aw give him a break, _bouzu_, it's Sunday. He deserves the chance occasionally."

"Ah ha ha ha ha..._sumimasen_, everyone...but I had a very interesting dream last night."

"What about?"

"Oh...things..."

----------

_I dreamed a wonderful dream last night! Otousan actually came to find me. He made me feel so safe and loved, and he stayed with me until the sun rose. Then he went back, but not before telling me to be strong and that he loved me._

_ It's all right now. They can say what they want, whether about me or otousan. The caretakers can scold me all they want for refusing to forget him, to remember I am an 'orphan' of the state. **I **know the truth. Cho Hakkai may be a demon, but he was once Cho Gonou and he will always be my father and the kindest, gentlest, friendliest man I ever know. He makes me feel safe, even though he's far away. He reminds me I'm not always alone. He lets me know someone's there. That's what a father is supposed to do, right?_

_ I love you, daddy. Forever and ever. And may our beloved dreams join us until you can turn away from the setting sun._

_-oshimai-_


End file.
